Creating a Circle of Strength

We all know that life can throw many curve-balls that can leave you overwhelmed and ready to give up.  When we have so many things going on in our lives the last thing we need is unhealthy behaviours from either friends or families.  Don’t for one minute think that you are “allowing” their behaviours in your life.  When you are going through difficult times you won’t have the strength to deal with any added issues from friends and families and you shouldn’t have to.  It is not wrong to have expectations that people should know how to behave towards you when you are dealing with a lot of stress.  It is basic expectations to expect others to be understanding, sensitive, compassionate and empathetic. 

Sadly, not everyone was socialized in basic human behaviour when it comes to dealing with others who are going through a difficult time. Matter-of-fact, they have the audacity to behave as if you are inconveniencing their lives with your difficult time.

  And instead of them having the good sense to stay away if they are not going to be genuine and loving, they impose themselves into your life and expect you to chin-up, suck it up, don’t inconvenience them and be on call when they want something from you.  Or they might be nice, caring for a few days and then suddenly they start being nasty towards you.  That’s because they were faking their concern.  They just did enough for you to think well of them and then they go back to being their true self.  They may even have the temerity to accuse you of not being understanding of their life and their busy schedule.  This kind of about turn behaviour can leave you feeling drained, aghast and shocked.

  You may even find yourself apologizing to them for inconveniencing them when you are the one going through a difficult time.  These are not the kind of individuals you need in your life.  Unfortunately because you are going through a difficult time their behaviour makes it worse for you and creates more of an emotional stress for you.  However, this is the time that it is important that you create your own circle of strength.

But how do you go about developing the tools necessary for creating your own circle of strength?  While creating a circle of strength does involve surrounding yourself with strong, compassionate and empathetic friends who are socialized in the norms of civilized human behaviour, it is important that you surround yourself with people who love themselves.

  People who do not love themselves and have a deep internal hatred of themselves won’t know how to genuinely be there for you.  Those individuals will have you on an emotional roller-coaster ride that will have your Mind twisting and turning and have you wondering what you did to them and why they are behaving that way towards you. 

 Their behaviour will seem sociopathic.  One minute they will pretend that they care for you and will go through all the motions and then when you have opened your heart to them they turn around and abruptly change their behaviour.  If you do not have a strong mind, their abrupt behaviour will crash you, especially if they have been doing it for awhile.  It will cause your mind to flip-flop.  These individuals will seek you out when you are the most vulnerable and strike at that inopportune time.  That is called emotional and mental abuse.

Unhealthy emotions contribute to a weak mind.  In order to strengthen your mind, examine how you feel about yourself.  If deep within yourself you hate yourself and feel that you don’t deserve anything good then your mind will reinforce those feelings and turn them into thoughts.

  Those thoughts become powerful weakened thoughts that are open for the self-hatred of others.  When you hate yourself any difficulty that you experience in life will be magnified.  However, when you love yourself deeply and know that you deserve the best, whatever difficulties you go through, you will have a circle of strength that surrounds you.  So while you won’t initially be able to necessarily stop someone from behaving a particular way towards you, when they do begin to behave insensitive and manipulative towards you, you will be strong enough to stand up to them and if they still do not change their behaviour, then you will be strong enough to walk away from them because you love yourself way too much to stand for that kind of emotional and mental abuse.  You know deep down within you that you deserve the best. It is your birthright.

 

Perseverance

When the veil of darkness has draped itself around your life and concealed the tears of your pain and despair, when the destiny you had envisaged has all but faded like water amongst the golden sands of the desert, when you stand alone in your hour of adversity and need and no-one is willing to stand beside you, when the battles within your life are on the verge of defeat and ruin, when you are in exile within your own mind, when your heart is empty and is merely watered by the tears of your agonized and anguished soul.

When you feel like a bird caged behind bars which once flew high above snow capped mountains free and unhindered and now reach out to touch the essence of your dreams, when tears and sorrow have embraced your soul, when the temples of your dreams lie in ashes like the ruins of an ancient age gone by and there are no traces of your footsteps within the valley of your dreams.

When the haunting silence of the darkness hangs like a shadow within the depths of your heart. When you cling like a child to the dreams of yesterday, when the light of dawn refuses to appear and the sun refuses to shine, when each day has become an eternal struggle to survive.

When there is no light amongst the darkness within your existence, when your wounds cry out to be healed, when fear has held courage ransom, when your soul stands in solitude and loneliness choking on its tears of isolation under a moon which no longer smiles and no longer yearns to gaze at his children; the stars, when all those around you have betrayed you, when love has left your heart and refuses to return.

When you no longer believe in yourself, when pain and grief are your constant companions, when there is no vision within the mists of your agony, when no one is willing to listen to and understand you, when peace seems to be in a distant world, when life no longer has the belief to run within your veins, when you have become a fugitive within your own mind and shackled like a slave within your own insanity, refuse with every last drop of sacred blood within your bruised and battered body, to surrender your soul to the pains of your existence.

You must believe in yourself-even if all those around you doubt you and in your ability to rise from within the insanity in which your life now finds itself and to stand tall against the obstacles and challenges within your life-and you will conquer all that you believe cannot be conquered and all that which you believed you had lost within your life.

It is from the darkest hours of our lives, from the depths of our despair and pain and in our greatest hour of adversity that we find an inner strength, an inner courage and an inner meaning so vast that it enables us to rise from our knees and stand tall and fight that which has made us weak.

Just as water runs from a stream, as the oak tree grows strong and upright, as snow-the softest and most peaceful of natures elements-covers the most fierce of mountains and tames its anger portraying it merely as a pawn within the hands of nature so new life and meaning will emerge from your own inner source.

Do not at any cost surrender your life to the weaknesses within your life. Do not surrender your life to the mediocre thoughts of others; do not surrender the belief you hold in yourself and in your abilities, do not surrender the dreams that you have worked so hard to hold within the palms of your hands. For what right do others have to judge another’s dreams for they have not walked a mile in your shoes! There are no limits to your courage and determination. The only limitations are those that we place upon ourselves. Our thoughts make the world what we want it to be. Mould your thought into a weapon of immense power.

Destiny & Karma

The law of destiny determines what forces influence our lives to ensure we encounter the life experiences that we require for our continued development. Destiny is essentially a series of opportunities that enable us to learn lessons, acquire new abilities, develop our consciousness and help others.

Destiny is commonly regarded as fate; a fixed timeline of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. Although the words are often used interchangeably, fate and destiny have quite different meanings:

Fate is usually seen as “set in stone” and often has negative connotations, e.g. the jury decided his fate. Fate is an agent that predetermines and orders the course of events.

It means that events are “meant to be” and are set in motion by an external force or intelligence. Destiny is more of a likely outcome and often has a positive feel, e.g. he is destined to become a star. Destiny guides us towards a specific goal, but without our willful participation we will not achieve our destiny.

Put simply: destiny is opportunity and fate is karma. We are in control of our destiny but have no control over our fate. Destiny cannot be forced on us; if we are forced then it is our fate.

Destiny gives us an opportunity to turn a situation to our advantage and accomplish something great through our own efforts. It is designed to give us the best opportunities for the development of our consciousness, but it is only an outline – not an exact script. It doesn’t detract from our free-will in any way, because we decide exactly how we want to act in any situation.

The basic outline for our life was planned (pre-destined) before we were born to give us the right opportunities for growth. But we don’t have to follow the pre-destined route if we don’t want to.

A life plan can be compared to a maze, and our life’s purpose is to complete the maze. We don’t know where we are going or where we will end up, so all we can do is make our way through life using our best judgment. Every wrong turn leads to a dead end and every correct turn leads to progress.

A correct turn may not correspond to success in the physical sense, for example: failing to get a promotion may not seem like the best outcome from a financial perspective, but it might actually be the best outcome for the development of your consciousness. We all occasionally make what appear to be bad decisions, but if we learn from those seemingly wrong decisions we eventually discover that they were in fact right decisions.

If we deviate from our life’s plan we may need to be coaxed back on to the right track, and the further we stray from the optimal path the harder the lessons get. Every choice we make affects our future and therefore our destiny. Right now we are experiencing the destiny (and the karma) that arose from choices we made in the past. Collective human destiny is largely decided by the planetary hierarchy but most people are egotistical and think they know better.

Willpower – Your Inner Strength

Willpower is the inner strength and the inner engine that propels towards success and achievement. It is the power that pushes into action in every area of life. Willpower is one of the most important and desirable inner powers, and its lack or presence determines whether you will fail or accomplish your desires and ambitions and attain success.

Willpower is erroneously considered as a quality belonging only to highly successful people, who depend on strength and force to achieve their goals. The truth is that it can be developed by everyone, and it is important, useful and desirable in the small affairs of life, as it is in the achievement of major goals.

If you usually feel too lazy, developing your inner strength will help you to overcome this laziness. If you usually procrastinate, possess low self-esteem, feel weak and vulnerable or lack self-control, strengthening this power will help you too.

Willpower, which is inner strength, manifests as the ability to control unnecessary and harmful impulses. It also manifests as the ability to decide, abide by this decision, and follow it with perseverance until its successful accomplishment. This ability gives you the courage and strength to endure and overcome inner and outer resistance and opposition, difficulties and hardships.

There are many who lack the inner strength to say “no”. Others find it difficult to follow and assert their ideas and beliefs. Some are afraid to take action and make changes or they lack resolution and the persistence to go on with their plans to the end. A strong power of the will can change all this.

It is the right and privilege of everyone to develop this ability. Everyone can develop it to a greater or smaller extent, depending on the desire, earnestness, ambition and time devoted to developing and strengthening this inner power.

Developing willpower and inner strength is a gradual process that anyone can undertake. Some will be able to reach higher levels of power, while others will reach different degrees of development, but the way is open to all.

You will have to give up some unnecessary and harmful pleasures and change some unhealthy habits, but this is for a higher good. You give up something harmful or useless, in order to gain strength and power that will help you in every area of your life. In fact, the whole process can be turned into an absorbing, enjoyable and interesting challenge.

Training and exercising your willpower will fill you with strength, courage, and assertiveness. As your power grows, it will be easier for you to get rid of habits and attitudes that stand in your way to a better life. You will gain inner strength that will help you at your job and at home, in your relationships, with carrying on your tasks and with accomplishing your ambitions.

Inner strength is when you have true control of your composure instead of showing emotion or reacting in a way that may cause the situation to worsen. It helps you become successful in keeping to your personal resolve!