Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself!!


Here are some tell tale signs of people who constantly live in the past, consumed with self-pity and stuck in a rut. These people never take responsibility for their mistakes, always looking to gain sympathy from others and are just down right negative! Be careful they don’t suck the living life force out of you!

  • YOU FIND IT HARD TO LAUGH AT LIFE AND AT YOURSELF.  

Taking yourself too seriously, and finding it difficult to laugh at your predicaments and defeats is a tell-tale sign of self-pity.  Beware.

  • YOU TEND TO CRAVE FOR DRAMA. 

In truth, you’re a little bit of a Drama Queen and tend to have a melodramatic streak to you.  Usually this stems from extremist types of thinking (e.g. black-and-white, all-or-nothing mindsets).

  • YOU TEND TO CRAVE FOR SYMPATHY. 

Self-pity is so addictive because it gives us the momentary pleasure of being supported, cared for and emotionally pampered.  This is a dangerous, highly manipulative way of developing emotional bonds and connections with other people.

  • YOU TEND TO BE AN INDIVIDUALIST.

Self-pity is one of the most effective ways of keeping yourself separate and independent from the friends, family and people around you.

  • YOU TEND TO BE A PAST-ORIENTATED PERSON.

Some people live in the present, others in the future, and still others in the past.  Self-pity is inextricably linked to past-focused mindsets that dwell on past events.

  • YOU HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

People with low self-esteem tend to crave the acceptance and affection of other people as a way of feeling better about themselves.  The mask of self-pity that constantly promotes its tragic-life-story campaign is an excellent way of collecting flocks of unsuspecting supporters.

  • DEEP DOWN, YOU DON’T BELIEVE YOU’RE WORTHY OF LOVE.

This stems from low self-esteem and creates a cycle of self-destructive behaviour.  Self-pity is one of the greatest tools for the self-destructive person.  It creates self-fulfilling prophecies, and alienates all the people you love and admire from you.

  • YOU HAVE AN UNHEALTHY HABIT OF BEING SELF-ABSORBED.

Quite simply, the more self-absorbed you are, the more likely you are to fall into the trap of self-pity.

  • YOU HAVE A STRONG FIGHTING INSTINCT.

This can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on what you choose to use it for.  When used in a negative sense, the fighting instinct is used to battle against life, to fight against the tide, and to fight against accepting reality.

  • YOU SUBCONSCIOUSLY FEEL GUILTY.

Often times self-pity is an unconscious way of avoiding taking responsibility for personal actions or decisions made in the past.  When we find it too difficult to accept the wrong that we’ve committed, sometimes we tend to hide from it by making ourselves the victims, rather than other people.  In this case, self-pity is the perfect cowardly self-defense mechanism.

 

 

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10 Ways to Love Life


Choose happiness

We often think of happiness as something that happens to us rather than something we choose. To start loving your life, make a conscious decision to start thinking more positively. It is important to remember that while you can’t always change what happens to you, you can change how you react to it. Rather than going with your instinctive reaction, try to look for the silver lining in situations. Try creating a “happiness diary” to help you – reflecting on all the things you have to be grateful for each day.

Live in the moment

Many of us find it difficult to enjoy the present because we are so busy dwelling on the past and worrying about the future. While learning from the past and planning for the future can be beneficial, try to make sure you are spending the majority of your time focused on enjoying the present. In particular, try to let go of regrets. Remember that going over your regrets will not change what has happened; it will only ruin your present happiness. Make amends and try to learn from your mistakes, then let them go and devote your energy instead to creating a life you love.

Be your own best friend

In order to truly love your life, you need to start to love yourself. We often see ourselves in the worst light, particularly when life isn’t going how we want it to; however, it is important not to be hard on yourself and blame yourself just because you feel something in your life hasn’t worked out. Rather than focusing on harsh comparisons with others and all your perceived faults, try regularly reminding yourself of all the good qualities you have to offer and all the successes and achievements you have accomplished so far, and learn to appreciate the unique person that you are.

Make every day special

It’s easy to get into a rut where we do the same things day in, day out, with our days passing us by as a routine-filled blur. Starting from now, why not spice up your routine by vowing to do one small thing differently each day or week? Wear something you wouldn’t normally wear, try a different workout, or order a different coffee perhaps. Also, don’t fall into the trap of postponing your happiness by saving everything special “for best”. Instead, brighten up a routine day by donning your diamond earrings or favourite silk underwear, or treating yourself to a glass of champagne. Don’t wait for special occasions to live your life to the full – start making every day count.

Fill your time with things that matter

Often, we fill our time with the things we think we ‘should’ be doing rather than the things we want to, which means we never quite get around to doing the things that make us happy. Rather than letting your precious time slip away unnoticed, mentally go through your week and work out how you spend your time, writing down everything you do and how long you spend on it. Once you have your week written out in front of you, you can identify how to maximize your hours, what to cut back on and how to make room for more valuable activities.

Make those “lost hours” count

Many of our hours are “lost” to lengthy commutes, uneventful lunch hours and mundane morning rituals. To get the most out of your day, try to make these hours count. For instance, use your journey to work and lunchtimes to read or listen to a good book; get in some exercise; or do something creative, such as drawing or writing. Also, make the most of your mornings as a valuable opportunity for a bit of ‘me time’. Get up early and watch your favourite TV show, make an indulgent breakfast in bed, or swap your shower for a luxurious bubble bath. By spending your mornings doing something you love, you can start loving your life from the moment you wake up.

Become a problem solver

Many of us fall into the habit of spending lots of time discussing and moaning about our problems, but very little time thinking of ways to solve them. Rather than viewing yourself as victim, turn yourself into a problem solver and think about how you can change your luck. Make a list of all the things that may be getting you down or that you would like to change and jot down some possible solutions. Then make a plan to tackle each problem one of one.

Know your limits

While taking on challenges and keeping busy with the right things can be a great way to enhance your life, taking on too much can do just the opposite. Even if you are someone who thrives on pressure and enjoys taking on a lot of responsibility, everyone has their limits and taking on too much will cause stress and anxiety. To enhance your happiness, know your limits and learn how to say no, whether you need to delegate a task in work or turn down an invitation to a social event.

Challenge yourself

Often, we drift through our days without ever really challenging ourselves or doing anything that makes us feel truly alive. If you feel you need to break out of a rut, add some excitement and a sense of adventure to your life by stepping out of your comfort zone and setting yourself some goals and objectives. Whether you want to take on a physical challenge, break a record, achieve a short-term goal or accomplish a life-long dream, decide on something you would like to achieve and formulate a plan to make it happen.

Appreciate the small things

We often spend our time looking forward to the next ‘big thing’ or exciting event in our lives and awaiting our next shot of happiness. However, to truly love your life you need to start appreciating every day and those little things that make you happy. Make a list of the day-to-day things that make you happy – such as having your favourite lunch, listening to your favourite song or having breakfast in bed – and make sure you schedule one of these treats into every day.

Rising Above Everything


Rising above is to see clearly, from a detached perspective. It is to see past the illusion of everyday life and recognize the soap opera for the self-created script that it is.

Rising above means you understand that the time has come to remove yourself from the illusion. To pull away and move forward…never looking back.

Rising above means not feeling regret, resentment, or anger. These are the very things that keep you tied to the illusion.

Rising above means taking responsibility for your life. Not blaming your current problems on others. If you allowed yourself to stay in the situation, then you allowed yourself to experience the outcome.

When you feel like a victim, you need to recognize that you allowed the situation to manifest. That is strength. That is self-empowerment. That is awareness.

It takes courage and faith to see a situation for what it is, not as you wish it to be. Your physical eyes can deceive and your world is built on that illusion if you allow it.

It takes a strong person to fade away from circumstances, situations and relationships that once held value, but have become a test of endurance and inner strength.

To rise above is to acknowledge and respect yourself and not remain trapped in an endless cycle of unhealthy habits.

Strong individuals recognize situations that are no longer healthy. They understand the value of the lesson and they know how to apply it accordingly.

In the end, you will emerge as a butterfly. Ready to test your wet wings on a new illusion of reality. One that brings you ever so closer to who you truly are.

Promise Yourself


 

To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you…

Special Friends – Cheryl-Anne Kannemeyer


Into each life a little rain will fall,

but if you have a friend,

you can bear it all,

for a friend is an umbrella,

to hold above your head,

and help you think about,

the sunny days instead.

Into each life a little Sun will shine,

but if you have a friend,

it will always be fine,

for if you can share the sunny times,

with a friend that will be grand,

as you talk and walk together,

securely hand in hand.

Into each life a little wind will blow,

but if you have a friend,

to whom you can go,

your friend can help to guide to,

can help you make the choice,

by offering their view,

and adding a new choice.

Into each life like leaves

things will fall,

but if you have a friend,

that you know you can call,

they’ll always steer you clearly,

when their counsel’s sought,

for a friend is like a safety net,

in which you will be caught.

Into each life a friend will come to you,

for if you have a friend,

you’ll know what to do,

when a problem shows itself,

for a friend is there to share,

to offer an opinion,

and show that someone cares.

Into my life, my friend came as you,

for I know I have a friend,

to share experiences old or new,

in the rain, Sun, wind or fall,

who is loving, loyal and most true,

that sees my best qualities,

and knows I am their friend too.

Thank-you for all the times that you’ve been there for me!

A Lesson in Life


Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul.

Without these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved,straight, flat road to nowhere.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them. For they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to who you open your heart to.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either.

You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it!

Light and Blessings!

 

 

 

The Value of Friendship


A friend is someone you can be alone with, not able to think of anything to say and be comfortable in the silence.


Friendship is a relationship of affection, caring and sharing. Life is so much more relaxed and fun when you’re with a friend. And you don’t have to ‘make conversation’ – you don’t have to pretend.

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and be understood.


We love our friends not just because we like each other or are useful to each other, but because we share the same values and ideals for our society, and come together to advance those ideals.


Friendship means more than being an associate or casual acquaintance for a period of time. It’s a deeper connection and tends to last many years, even a lifetime, even when we are separated by circumstances. Because values are shared, we have important things in common, rather like family – even if in other ways we are quite different.


A special friend will always be there to help you. But the doors need to be open, and that’s not possible if you’re ashamed of yourself or unwilling to show your true feelings. So yes, friendship starts with yourself, opening the doors and caring about others. Then you won’t be short of friends.

The greatest sweetener of human life is friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover.

To develop friendship, we first need to recognize how we are blessed by the presence of empathic souls in our life. Appreciation and gratitude always raise our vibration, and attract happiness and fulfillment – and as a result our friendships connect at a high level.

True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island. To find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep them is a blessing.


As Jesse Herman Holmes said, “Beauty, truth, friendship, love, creation – these are the great values of life. We can’t prove them, or explain them, yet they are the most stable things in our lives.”

Friends – Season, Reason or Lifetime


People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person…

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Why Not You?


 

Today, many will awaken with a fresh sense of inspiration. Why not you?
Today, many will open their eyes to the beauty that surrounds them. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to leave the ghost of yesterday behind and seize the immeasurable power of today. Why not you?

Today, many will break through the barriers of the past by looking at the blessings of the present. Why not you?

Today, for many, the burden of self doubt and insecurity will be lifted by the security and confidence of empowerment. Why not you?

Today, many will rise above their believed limitations and make contact with their powerful innate strength. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to live in such a manner that they will be a positive role model for their children. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to free themselves from the personal imprisonment of their bad habits. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to live free of conditions and rules governing their own happiness. Why not you?

Today, many will find abundance in simplicity. Why not you?

Today, many will be confronted by difficult moral choices and they will choose to do what is right instead of what is beneficial. Why not you?

Today, many will decide to no longer sit back with a victim mentality, but to take charge of their lives and make positive changes. Why not you?

Today, many will take the action necessary to make a difference. Why not you?

Today, many will make the commitment to be a better mother, father, son, daughter, student, teacher, worker, boss, brother, sister, & so much more. Why not you?

positiveToday is a new day!
Many will seize this day.
Many will live it to the fullest.
Why not you?

Death- Good or Bad?


Death is the most fierce and deeply penetrating spiritual teacher that we can have. It will not let our ego escape alive. Death will always be waiting around the next corner, ready to wipe your entire life clean. Death will remove all material possessions from you, all wounds, all people, all your financial problems and future plans. It is guaranteed that one day, everything will be removed from your grasp.

No matter how safe we think we are, this hard truth will remain, perhaps because it has the most profound purpose for our spiritual growth. Death forces us to remain awake. We must always appreciate this human life we are given. We have to find reverence, otherwise we suffer.

Knowing how very fragile this life is, we become kind to everything that is alive. By remembering our mortality, we are not so quick to getting angry at our loved ones, nor become distant, judgmental or critical with them. We tend to forgive everyone who has wronged us more quickly, and return to loving the real heart and soul connection that we do have.

With the awareness that death is approaching, we become more gentle on ourselves, instantly dropping any hard heavy energy that we may be carrying. We tend to deal with any leftover skeletons hiding in our closet and embrace those things we are avoiding.

 

We remember that we came here to heal ourselves, and so we stop protecting our hearts from opening up to others. We become radically honest with ourselves and others, because we just never know when it’s our turn to go.

I invite you to do something truly radical this week. Share with those who are still with you today, how you honestly feel. It may be challenging, yet tell them what is going on inside you, reveal everything and clear off your emotional plate.

 

Be free to say anything you cannot speak about or say. You just don’t know when you or your best friend’s amily member or child will die…do you?

Let them know how much you actually love them. Rise above any social games you are playing. Stop being afraid of being ridiculed or getting rejected. Take the risk to celebrate your lives, and enjoy your short precious time here together.  You truly don’t know when it is going to come to a quick end.

“Man has lost one quality, the quality of zestfulness. And without zest, what is life? Just waiting for death? It can’t be anything else. Only with zest do you live; otherwise you vegetate.” ~Osho

There’s only one thing you can do to transcend death, embrace it.  With welcoming it fully, you will eventually find your way to real inner peace. This acceptance does not mean to start taking more apathetic actions in your life. This is about finding more reverence in everything.

 

Everything is sacred. When you discover this tremendous appreciation for the simple things, like this breath that is still flowing through your lungs, you’ll see the fear of living and dying quickly dissolves. If we can fully embrace death, we can totally live life.

When you have a deep reverence for life, you naturally take advantage of every moment to feel that you are alive. You finally arrive into this precious now moment of your life, where  all the puzzle pieces fit in, and everything comes to perfection. You can truly rest here, it is the only place. You can let go of it all and fall into resonance with your true spiritual nature.

Take this moment to feel into this spiritual essence inside your body. Feel that energy that will remain when your body is gone. Can you feel this eternal energy? The infinite self is here, and if can find it, and reconnect to it all day, you’ll soon realize that heaven is already here now.
The spiritual effervescence will expand in you, and send bubbles of light filled joy into your heart. Open your life to these bubbles and you will wonder why you were pretending to be so worried, fearful and concerned about everything in your life.