Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself!!


Here are some tell tale signs of people who constantly live in the past, consumed with self-pity and stuck in a rut. These people never take responsibility for their mistakes, always looking to gain sympathy from others and are just down right negative! Be careful they don’t suck the living life force out of you!

  • YOU FIND IT HARD TO LAUGH AT LIFE AND AT YOURSELF.  

Taking yourself too seriously, and finding it difficult to laugh at your predicaments and defeats is a tell-tale sign of self-pity.  Beware.

  • YOU TEND TO CRAVE FOR DRAMA. 

In truth, you’re a little bit of a Drama Queen and tend to have a melodramatic streak to you.  Usually this stems from extremist types of thinking (e.g. black-and-white, all-or-nothing mindsets).

  • YOU TEND TO CRAVE FOR SYMPATHY. 

Self-pity is so addictive because it gives us the momentary pleasure of being supported, cared for and emotionally pampered.  This is a dangerous, highly manipulative way of developing emotional bonds and connections with other people.

  • YOU TEND TO BE AN INDIVIDUALIST.

Self-pity is one of the most effective ways of keeping yourself separate and independent from the friends, family and people around you.

  • YOU TEND TO BE A PAST-ORIENTATED PERSON.

Some people live in the present, others in the future, and still others in the past.  Self-pity is inextricably linked to past-focused mindsets that dwell on past events.

  • YOU HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

People with low self-esteem tend to crave the acceptance and affection of other people as a way of feeling better about themselves.  The mask of self-pity that constantly promotes its tragic-life-story campaign is an excellent way of collecting flocks of unsuspecting supporters.

  • DEEP DOWN, YOU DON’T BELIEVE YOU’RE WORTHY OF LOVE.

This stems from low self-esteem and creates a cycle of self-destructive behaviour.  Self-pity is one of the greatest tools for the self-destructive person.  It creates self-fulfilling prophecies, and alienates all the people you love and admire from you.

  • YOU HAVE AN UNHEALTHY HABIT OF BEING SELF-ABSORBED.

Quite simply, the more self-absorbed you are, the more likely you are to fall into the trap of self-pity.

  • YOU HAVE A STRONG FIGHTING INSTINCT.

This can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on what you choose to use it for.  When used in a negative sense, the fighting instinct is used to battle against life, to fight against the tide, and to fight against accepting reality.

  • YOU SUBCONSCIOUSLY FEEL GUILTY.

Often times self-pity is an unconscious way of avoiding taking responsibility for personal actions or decisions made in the past.  When we find it too difficult to accept the wrong that we’ve committed, sometimes we tend to hide from it by making ourselves the victims, rather than other people.  In this case, self-pity is the perfect cowardly self-defense mechanism.

 

 

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10 Ways to Love Life


Choose happiness

We often think of happiness as something that happens to us rather than something we choose. To start loving your life, make a conscious decision to start thinking more positively. It is important to remember that while you can’t always change what happens to you, you can change how you react to it. Rather than going with your instinctive reaction, try to look for the silver lining in situations. Try creating a “happiness diary” to help you – reflecting on all the things you have to be grateful for each day.

Live in the moment

Many of us find it difficult to enjoy the present because we are so busy dwelling on the past and worrying about the future. While learning from the past and planning for the future can be beneficial, try to make sure you are spending the majority of your time focused on enjoying the present. In particular, try to let go of regrets. Remember that going over your regrets will not change what has happened; it will only ruin your present happiness. Make amends and try to learn from your mistakes, then let them go and devote your energy instead to creating a life you love.

Be your own best friend

In order to truly love your life, you need to start to love yourself. We often see ourselves in the worst light, particularly when life isn’t going how we want it to; however, it is important not to be hard on yourself and blame yourself just because you feel something in your life hasn’t worked out. Rather than focusing on harsh comparisons with others and all your perceived faults, try regularly reminding yourself of all the good qualities you have to offer and all the successes and achievements you have accomplished so far, and learn to appreciate the unique person that you are.

Make every day special

It’s easy to get into a rut where we do the same things day in, day out, with our days passing us by as a routine-filled blur. Starting from now, why not spice up your routine by vowing to do one small thing differently each day or week? Wear something you wouldn’t normally wear, try a different workout, or order a different coffee perhaps. Also, don’t fall into the trap of postponing your happiness by saving everything special “for best”. Instead, brighten up a routine day by donning your diamond earrings or favourite silk underwear, or treating yourself to a glass of champagne. Don’t wait for special occasions to live your life to the full – start making every day count.

Fill your time with things that matter

Often, we fill our time with the things we think we ‘should’ be doing rather than the things we want to, which means we never quite get around to doing the things that make us happy. Rather than letting your precious time slip away unnoticed, mentally go through your week and work out how you spend your time, writing down everything you do and how long you spend on it. Once you have your week written out in front of you, you can identify how to maximize your hours, what to cut back on and how to make room for more valuable activities.

Make those “lost hours” count

Many of our hours are “lost” to lengthy commutes, uneventful lunch hours and mundane morning rituals. To get the most out of your day, try to make these hours count. For instance, use your journey to work and lunchtimes to read or listen to a good book; get in some exercise; or do something creative, such as drawing or writing. Also, make the most of your mornings as a valuable opportunity for a bit of ‘me time’. Get up early and watch your favourite TV show, make an indulgent breakfast in bed, or swap your shower for a luxurious bubble bath. By spending your mornings doing something you love, you can start loving your life from the moment you wake up.

Become a problem solver

Many of us fall into the habit of spending lots of time discussing and moaning about our problems, but very little time thinking of ways to solve them. Rather than viewing yourself as victim, turn yourself into a problem solver and think about how you can change your luck. Make a list of all the things that may be getting you down or that you would like to change and jot down some possible solutions. Then make a plan to tackle each problem one of one.

Know your limits

While taking on challenges and keeping busy with the right things can be a great way to enhance your life, taking on too much can do just the opposite. Even if you are someone who thrives on pressure and enjoys taking on a lot of responsibility, everyone has their limits and taking on too much will cause stress and anxiety. To enhance your happiness, know your limits and learn how to say no, whether you need to delegate a task in work or turn down an invitation to a social event.

Challenge yourself

Often, we drift through our days without ever really challenging ourselves or doing anything that makes us feel truly alive. If you feel you need to break out of a rut, add some excitement and a sense of adventure to your life by stepping out of your comfort zone and setting yourself some goals and objectives. Whether you want to take on a physical challenge, break a record, achieve a short-term goal or accomplish a life-long dream, decide on something you would like to achieve and formulate a plan to make it happen.

Appreciate the small things

We often spend our time looking forward to the next ‘big thing’ or exciting event in our lives and awaiting our next shot of happiness. However, to truly love your life you need to start appreciating every day and those little things that make you happy. Make a list of the day-to-day things that make you happy – such as having your favourite lunch, listening to your favourite song or having breakfast in bed – and make sure you schedule one of these treats into every day.

Dealing with Betrayal


It is bad enough when a stranger or foe betrays you, but when it is someone you believed to be a close and trusted friend, partner, or spouse, a child it is especially hurtful. It might feel like you were taken advantage of, deceived, humiliated, despised, cheated, or stabbed in the back. Oftentimes it comes as a surprise.

That is why it is so painful. You would not expect to be hurt so badly from someone you thought you could trust. So you are left in disbelief and unbelievable pain.

Anyone who has experienced betrayal in a relationship knows how difficult it is to recover from such an experience. The person you thought you could trust and count on is no longer the person you believed them to be. So you wonder what happened.

Were you just wrong about them all along or did something change? Maybe your relationship changed and so did their loyalty to you. Maybe something in either or both of your lives has changed and they became insensitive to you. Or, maybe you both grew apart and in different directions.

There are many reasons that cause people to betray one another. Sometimes they are very deliberate and intended to hurt the other person. And sometimes they are consequences of choices that are made with no intention of doing any harm to anyone. Looking out for one’s own best interests can cause some people to disregard relationships they once valued.

They may feel the relationship is in the way or not as important anymore. Feelings change. And as feelings change so do one’s actions and choices. An individual that feels their needs are not being met in a relationship might feel that the relationship is no longer important or worth investing in.

Therefore, they might seek to get their needs met elsewhere. This changes the relationship. Eventually, it grows apart and opportunities for betrayal emerge.

Betrayal is a destructive force that leaves many ruins in its path. Betrayal changes everything. Relationships and all those affected will never be the same again. The damage done can be irreparable. Trust is lost. Wounds run deep. Anger persists. Hearts are broken. Self-protective walls are erected. Pain is long and lasting. And we wonder…. Can trust ever be restored? Do wounds ever heal? Will anger cease to exist? Can hearts be repaired? Will the self-protective walls ever come down? Does the pain ever go away?

Not only does betrayal change relationships, it changes individuals. Something happens inside of them. They might find it difficult to ever trust again. They might be more guarded and protective of themselves for fear of being vulnerable again.

They might learn to be more discerning and less naïve. Their expectations of others may change. They may reflect on their own role and responsibility in the relationship and what went wrong. They might try to understand, empathize, and forgive. They may be motivated to grow from the experience and learn more about themselves and others.

The pain of betrayal is very real and has a significant impact on the lives of all those who have experienced it. It is one of those painful life experiences that have the power to change people’s hearts and lives forever.

If you have ever been betrayed, you cannot change what has happened to you or make the pain go away. You need time to grieve and feel angry. You need time to be comforted and encouraged. You also need time to restore your faith in yourself and others. Betrayal hurts and there is no fast and easy way to heal from its effects.

It takes more than time. It takes a heart that will not harden. It takes a commitment to believe in others again. Relationships do change as a result of betrayal; but ultimately, how it changes you is what matters most.LONELINESS

Rising Above Everything


Rising above is to see clearly, from a detached perspective. It is to see past the illusion of everyday life and recognize the soap opera for the self-created script that it is.

Rising above means you understand that the time has come to remove yourself from the illusion. To pull away and move forward…never looking back.

Rising above means not feeling regret, resentment, or anger. These are the very things that keep you tied to the illusion.

Rising above means taking responsibility for your life. Not blaming your current problems on others. If you allowed yourself to stay in the situation, then you allowed yourself to experience the outcome.

When you feel like a victim, you need to recognize that you allowed the situation to manifest. That is strength. That is self-empowerment. That is awareness.

It takes courage and faith to see a situation for what it is, not as you wish it to be. Your physical eyes can deceive and your world is built on that illusion if you allow it.

It takes a strong person to fade away from circumstances, situations and relationships that once held value, but have become a test of endurance and inner strength.

To rise above is to acknowledge and respect yourself and not remain trapped in an endless cycle of unhealthy habits.

Strong individuals recognize situations that are no longer healthy. They understand the value of the lesson and they know how to apply it accordingly.

In the end, you will emerge as a butterfly. Ready to test your wet wings on a new illusion of reality. One that brings you ever so closer to who you truly are.

Promise Yourself


 

To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you…

What is Tolerance?


Tolerance is giving every other human being the rights that you claim for yourself.


Tolerance is not indifference due to lack of conviction. Nor does it mean we agree or like what others do and say. But we recognize that others have the right to their own point of view and to be able to express themselves openly, provided they too practice tolerance. And we at least listen with respect.

 

Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one’s own beliefs. Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others.


Commitment does not mean we can no longer learn, and we can only learn by being open-minded. Any belief is a trap if it is no longer open to revision. Applying our own trap to others is the result of intolerance.


The highest result of education is tolerance. That is, education that teaches understanding and open-mindedness, not conformance to fixed belief systems.

Tolerance is the path to understanding.
If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges that each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance and care.


Tolerance of evil (i.e. doing deliberate harm) is misguided – but the fact is most people do the best they can with the best they know and are not evil, and the way forward therefore is tolerant and respectful communication to share understanding.


Since others have to tolerate my weaknesses, it is only fair that I should tolerate theirs.
Since we each have our weaknesses, mutual toleration brings us together, we learn to complement and support each other.  
Tolerance and celebration of individual differences is the fire that fuels lasting love.

A Lesson in Life


Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul.

Without these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved,straight, flat road to nowhere.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them. For they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to who you open your heart to.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either.

You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it!

Light and Blessings!

 

 

 

The Value of Friendship


A friend is someone you can be alone with, not able to think of anything to say and be comfortable in the silence.


Friendship is a relationship of affection, caring and sharing. Life is so much more relaxed and fun when you’re with a friend. And you don’t have to ‘make conversation’ – you don’t have to pretend.

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and be understood.


We love our friends not just because we like each other or are useful to each other, but because we share the same values and ideals for our society, and come together to advance those ideals.


Friendship means more than being an associate or casual acquaintance for a period of time. It’s a deeper connection and tends to last many years, even a lifetime, even when we are separated by circumstances. Because values are shared, we have important things in common, rather like family – even if in other ways we are quite different.


A special friend will always be there to help you. But the doors need to be open, and that’s not possible if you’re ashamed of yourself or unwilling to show your true feelings. So yes, friendship starts with yourself, opening the doors and caring about others. Then you won’t be short of friends.

The greatest sweetener of human life is friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover.

To develop friendship, we first need to recognize how we are blessed by the presence of empathic souls in our life. Appreciation and gratitude always raise our vibration, and attract happiness and fulfillment – and as a result our friendships connect at a high level.

True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island. To find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep them is a blessing.


As Jesse Herman Holmes said, “Beauty, truth, friendship, love, creation – these are the great values of life. We can’t prove them, or explain them, yet they are the most stable things in our lives.”

Optimism


Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement, nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” ~ Helen Keller

Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do, but you can change your mind about that barrier. You can go as far as your mind lets you.

Be aware of what you are thinking now and support yourself with a more optimistic vision of the future. When you believe that vision is possible, you stand a good chance of achieving it.
Turn your face towards the sun and the shadows fall behind you. As Daisaku Ikeda said, “Hope transforms pessimism into optimism. Hope changes everything.”inner joy

Why Not You?


 

Today, many will awaken with a fresh sense of inspiration. Why not you?
Today, many will open their eyes to the beauty that surrounds them. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to leave the ghost of yesterday behind and seize the immeasurable power of today. Why not you?

Today, many will break through the barriers of the past by looking at the blessings of the present. Why not you?

Today, for many, the burden of self doubt and insecurity will be lifted by the security and confidence of empowerment. Why not you?

Today, many will rise above their believed limitations and make contact with their powerful innate strength. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to live in such a manner that they will be a positive role model for their children. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to free themselves from the personal imprisonment of their bad habits. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to live free of conditions and rules governing their own happiness. Why not you?

Today, many will find abundance in simplicity. Why not you?

Today, many will be confronted by difficult moral choices and they will choose to do what is right instead of what is beneficial. Why not you?

Today, many will decide to no longer sit back with a victim mentality, but to take charge of their lives and make positive changes. Why not you?

Today, many will take the action necessary to make a difference. Why not you?

Today, many will make the commitment to be a better mother, father, son, daughter, student, teacher, worker, boss, brother, sister, & so much more. Why not you?

positiveToday is a new day!
Many will seize this day.
Many will live it to the fullest.
Why not you?