Positivity

Positivity is a state of mind we would all like to achieve, but it isn’t always easy. During a period of depression or loss, having a positive mindset can feel impossible. Many of us are also skeptical about positivity. We ask ourselves if it’s even possible to look on the bright side when there’s so much negativity in the world.

Part of the problem could be that we’re approaching positivity all wrong. Being positive doesn’t necessarily mean being happy all the time or seeing the good in everything In fact, the official positivity definition may surprise you.

Positivity: The Official Definition

Positivity is often looked down upon as an irritating personality quirk. However, the official definition implies that positivity is not something you are – it’s something you do.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary definition, positivity is: “The practice of being or tendency to be positive or optimistic in attitude.”

That’s right. Positivity is a practice, not something you’re born with. Just like running or learning the guitar, positivity is a skill you get better at the more you do it. What’s more, scientists are now learning that the power of positive thinking is more than just a buzzword – it can actually rewire our brains to rewrite trauma and overcome negative thinking patterns.

What Is the Meaning of Positivity?

The philosophy of positivity is one that goes back thousands of years. The idea that changing your thoughts can change your reality is one of the cornerstones of Buddhist teachings, for instance, but it’s also at the heart of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and other scientifically-backed therapy models.

There is no one meaning of positivity. Positivity is the act of training your brain to think and respond to situations calmly and optimistically. It takes time and a little effort every day, but the rewards can be life-changing.

How to Achieve Positivity in Challenging Times

The definition of positivity is only helpful if you can put the words into action. Here are some steps to help you live a more positive life.

1. Be Mindful

Studies show that people who practice mindfulness are calmer, have better memories and are more creative than those who don’t. This is because our brains are programmed by neural connections. Like working a muscle in the gym, the more you work on a particular neuron (e.g., positivity), the stronger it gets. The neurons you don’t use will eventually disappear. This is how habits form.

Here are some tips to help you become more mindful:

• Observe your thoughts: Try not to label them as “good” or “bad” or get too invested. Watch them pass like traffic in your mind. Don’t try to stop them or intervene.  
• Do one thing at a time: When you’re eating, for example, just eat. Don’t watch TV or listen to music or work on your computer. Focus on the tastes and textures of the food in your mouth.
• Do nothing: Every day, set aside 5-10 minutes to sit with yourself and just do nothing. No phone, no book, no TV, no music. Only you and your thoughts.

2. Practice Gratitude

Practicing gratitude is surprisingly simple. Find a time of day that suits you (the last thing at night works best) and write down three things for which you are grateful.

You may choose something as small as a hot shower or the coffee you drank on your way to work, or as general as support from your friends and family. If you’re unable to get out of bed due to mental or physical illness, be thankful that you have a soft pillow and a comforting space to rest and recover.

3. Journal

If you’re going through a challenging time in your life, starting a positivity journal could help you achieve a happier mindset. You can keep your gratitude lists here, jot down inspiring quotes and collect images that make you feel good.

When you’re having a particularly bad day, you can look back at your positivity journal and know that there are things in life to feel good about.

Practicing Positivity

 By taking a few small steps each day towards positivity, you can re-train your brain to look for the good things in life. All we ever have is this moment – so why not make it the best it can be?

Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself!!

Here are some tell tale signs of people who constantly live in the past, consumed with self-pity and stuck in a rut. These people never take responsibility for their mistakes, always looking to gain sympathy from others and are just down right negative! Be careful they don’t suck the living life force out of you!

• YOU FIND IT HARD TO LAUGH AT LIFE AND AT YOURSELF.  

Taking yourself too seriously, and finding it difficult to laugh at your predicaments and defeats is a tell-tale sign of self-pity.  Beware.

• YOU TEND TO CRAVE FOR DRAMA. 

In truth, you’re a little bit of a Drama Queen and tend to have a melodramatic streak to you.  Usually this stems from extremist types of thinking (e.g. black-and-white, all-or-nothing mindsets).

• YOU TEND TO CRAVE FOR SYMPATHY. 

Self-pity is so addictive because it gives us the momentary pleasure of being supported, cared for and emotionally pampered.  This is a dangerous, highly manipulative way of developing emotional bonds and connections with other people.

• YOU TEND TO BE AN INDIVIDUALIST.

Self-pity is one of the most effective ways of keeping yourself separate and independent from the friends, family and people around you.

• YOU TEND TO BE A PAST-ORIENTATED PERSON.

Some people live in the present, others in the future, and still others in the past.  Self-pity is inextricably linked to past-focused mindsets that dwell on past events.

• YOU HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

People with low self-esteem tend to crave the acceptance and affection of other people as a way of feeling better about themselves.  The mask of self-pity that constantly promotes its tragic-life-story campaign is an excellent way of collecting flocks of unsuspecting supporters.

• DEEP DOWN, YOU DON’T BELIEVE YOU’RE WORTHY OF LOVE.

This stems from low self-esteem and creates a cycle of self-destructive behaviour.  Self-pity is one of the greatest tools for the self-destructive person.  It creates self-fulfilling prophecies, and alienates all the people you love and admire from you.

• YOU HAVE AN UNHEALTHY HABIT OF BEING SELF-ABSORBED.

Quite simply, the more self-absorbed you are, the more likely you are to fall into the trap of self-pity.

• YOU HAVE A STRONG FIGHTING INSTINCT.

This can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on what you choose to use it for.  When used in a negative sense, the fighting instinct is used to battle against life, to fight against the tide, and to fight against accepting reality.

• YOU SUBCONSCIOUSLY FEEL GUILTY.

Often times self-pity is an unconscious way of avoiding taking responsibility for personal actions or decisions made in the past.  When we find it too difficult to accept the wrong that we’ve committed, sometimes we tend to hide from it by making ourselves the victims, rather than other people.  In this case, self-pity is the perfect cowardly self-defense mechanism.

 

 

Rising Above Everything

Rising above is to see clearly, from a detached perspective. It is to see past the illusion of everyday life and recognize the soap opera for the self-created script that it is.

Rising above means you understand that the time has come to remove yourself from the illusion. To pull away and move forward…never looking back.

Rising above means not feeling regret, resentment, or anger. These are the very things that keep you tied to the illusion.

Rising above means taking responsibility for your life. Not blaming your current problems on others. If you allowed yourself to stay in the situation, then you allowed yourself to experience the outcome.

When you feel like a victim, you need to recognize that you allowed the situation to manifest. That is strength. That is self-empowerment. That is awareness.

It takes courage and faith to see a situation for what it is, not as you wish it to be. Your physical eyes can deceive and your world is built on that illusion if you allow it.

It takes a strong person to fade away from circumstances, situations and relationships that once held value, but have become a test of endurance and inner strength.

To rise above is to acknowledge and respect yourself and not remain trapped in an endless cycle of unhealthy habits.

Strong individuals recognize situations that are no longer healthy. They understand the value of the lesson and they know how to apply it accordingly.

In the end, you will emerge as a butterfly. Ready to test your wet wings on a new illusion of reality. One that brings you ever so closer to who you truly are.

Promise Yourself

 

To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you…

Special Friends – Cheryl-Anne Kannemeyer

Into each life a little rain will fall,

but if you have a friend,

you can bear it all,

for a friend is an umbrella,

to hold above your head,

and help you think about,

the sunny days instead.

Into each life a little Sun will shine,

but if you have a friend,

it will always be fine,

for if you can share the sunny times,

with a friend that will be grand,

as you talk and walk together,

securely hand in hand.

Into each life a little wind will blow,

but if you have a friend,

to whom you can go,

your friend can help to guide to,

can help you make the choice,

by offering their view,

and adding a new choice.

Into each life like leaves

things will fall,

but if you have a friend,

that you know you can call,

they’ll always steer you clearly,

when their counsel’s sought,

for a friend is like a safety net,

in which you will be caught.

Into each life a friend will come to you,

for if you have a friend,

you’ll know what to do,

when a problem shows itself,

for a friend is there to share,

to offer an opinion,

and show that someone cares.

Into my life, my friend came as you,

for I know I have a friend,

to share experiences old or new,

in the rain, Sun, wind or fall,

who is loving, loyal and most true,

that sees my best qualities,

and knows I am their friend too.

Thank-you for all the times that you’ve been there for me!

A Lesson in Life

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul.

Without these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved,straight, flat road to nowhere.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them. For they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to who you open your heart to.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either.

You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it!

Light and Blessings!

 

 

 

Optimism

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement, nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” ~ Helen Keller

Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do, but you can change your mind about that barrier. You can go as far as your mind lets you.

Be aware of what you are thinking now and support yourself with a more optimistic vision of the future. When you believe that vision is possible, you stand a good chance of achieving it.
Turn your face towards the sun and the shadows fall behind you. As Daisaku Ikeda said, “Hope transforms pessimism into optimism. Hope changes everything.”

Friends – Season, Reason or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person…

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Why Not You?

 

Today, many will awaken with a fresh sense of inspiration. Why not you?
Today, many will open their eyes to the beauty that surrounds them. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to leave the ghost of yesterday behind and seize the immeasurable power of today. Why not you?

Today, many will break through the barriers of the past by looking at the blessings of the present. Why not you?

Today, for many, the burden of self doubt and insecurity will be lifted by the security and confidence of empowerment. Why not you?

Today, many will rise above their believed limitations and make contact with their powerful innate strength. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to live in such a manner that they will be a positive role model for their children. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to free themselves from the personal imprisonment of their bad habits. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to live free of conditions and rules governing their own happiness. Why not you?

Today, many will find abundance in simplicity. Why not you?

Today, many will be confronted by difficult moral choices and they will choose to do what is right instead of what is beneficial. Why not you?

Today, many will decide to no longer sit back with a victim mentality, but to take charge of their lives and make positive changes. Why not you?

Today, many will take the action necessary to make a difference. Why not you?

Today, many will make the commitment to be a better mother, father, son, daughter, student, teacher, worker, boss, brother, sister, & so much more. Why not you?

Today is a new day!
Many will seize this day.
Many will live it to the fullest.
Why not you?

Death- Good or Bad?

Death is the most fierce and deeply penetrating spiritual teacher that we can have. It will not let our ego escape alive. Death will always be waiting around the next corner, ready to wipe your entire life clean. Death will remove all material possessions from you, all wounds, all people, all your financial problems and future plans. It is guaranteed that one day, everything will be removed from your grasp.

No matter how safe we think we are, this hard truth will remain, perhaps because it has the most profound purpose for our spiritual growth. Death forces us to remain awake. We must always appreciate this human life we are given. We have to find reverence, otherwise we suffer.

Knowing how very fragile this life is, we become kind to everything that is alive. By remembering our mortality, we are not so quick to getting angry at our loved ones, nor become distant, judgmental or critical with them. We tend to forgive everyone who has wronged us more quickly, and return to loving the real heart and soul connection that we do have.

With the awareness that death is approaching, we become more gentle on ourselves, instantly dropping any hard heavy energy that we may be carrying. We tend to deal with any leftover skeletons hiding in our closet and embrace those things we are avoiding.

 

We remember that we came here to heal ourselves, and so we stop protecting our hearts from opening up to others. We become radically honest with ourselves and others, because we just never know when it’s our turn to go.

I invite you to do something truly radical this week. Share with those who are still with you today, how you honestly feel. It may be challenging, yet tell them what is going on inside you, reveal everything and clear off your emotional plate.

 

Be free to say anything you cannot speak about or say. You just don’t know when you or your best friend’s amily member or child will die…do you?

Let them know how much you actually love them. Rise above any social games you are playing. Stop being afraid of being ridiculed or getting rejected. Take the risk to celebrate your lives, and enjoy your short precious time here together.  You truly don’t know when it is going to come to a quick end.

“Man has lost one quality, the quality of zestfulness. And without zest, what is life? Just waiting for death? It can’t be anything else. Only with zest do you live; otherwise you vegetate.” ~Osho

There’s only one thing you can do to transcend death, embrace it.  With welcoming it fully, you will eventually find your way to real inner peace. This acceptance does not mean to start taking more apathetic actions in your life. This is about finding more reverence in everything.

 

Everything is sacred. When you discover this tremendous appreciation for the simple things, like this breath that is still flowing through your lungs, you’ll see the fear of living and dying quickly dissolves. If we can fully embrace death, we can totally live life.

When you have a deep reverence for life, you naturally take advantage of every moment to feel that you are alive. You finally arrive into this precious now moment of your life, where  all the puzzle pieces fit in, and everything comes to perfection. You can truly rest here, it is the only place. You can let go of it all and fall into resonance with your true spiritual nature.

Take this moment to feel into this spiritual essence inside your body. Feel that energy that will remain when your body is gone. Can you feel this eternal energy? The infinite self is here, and if can find it, and reconnect to it all day, you’ll soon realize that heaven is already here now.
The spiritual effervescence will expand in you, and send bubbles of light filled joy into your heart. Open your life to these bubbles and you will wonder why you were pretending to be so worried, fearful and concerned about everything in your life.