10 Ways to Love Life

Choose happiness

We often think of happiness as something that happens to us rather than something we choose. To start loving your life, make a conscious decision to start thinking more positively. It is important to remember that while you can’t always change what happens to you, you can change how you react to it. Rather than going with your instinctive reaction, try to look for the silver lining in situations. Try creating a “happiness diary” to help you – reflecting on all the things you have to be grateful for each day.

Live in the moment

Many of us find it difficult to enjoy the present because we are so busy dwelling on the past and worrying about the future. While learning from the past and planning for the future can be beneficial, try to make sure you are spending the majority of your time focused on enjoying the present. In particular, try to let go of regrets. Remember that going over your regrets will not change what has happened; it will only ruin your present happiness. Make amends and try to learn from your mistakes, then let them go and devote your energy instead to creating a life you love.

Be your own best friend

In order to truly love your life, you need to start to love yourself. We often see ourselves in the worst light, particularly when life isn’t going how we want it to; however, it is important not to be hard on yourself and blame yourself just because you feel something in your life hasn’t worked out. Rather than focusing on harsh comparisons with others and all your perceived faults, try regularly reminding yourself of all the good qualities you have to offer and all the successes and achievements you have accomplished so far, and learn to appreciate the unique person that you are.

Make every day special

It’s easy to get into a rut where we do the same things day in, day out, with our days passing us by as a routine-filled blur. Starting from now, why not spice up your routine by vowing to do one small thing differently each day or week? Wear something you wouldn’t normally wear, try a different workout, or order a different coffee perhaps. Also, don’t fall into the trap of postponing your happiness by saving everything special “for best”. Instead, brighten up a routine day by donning your diamond earrings or favourite silk underwear, or treating yourself to a glass of champagne. Don’t wait for special occasions to live your life to the full – start making every day count.

Fill your time with things that matter

Often, we fill our time with the things we think we ‘should’ be doing rather than the things we want to, which means we never quite get around to doing the things that make us happy. Rather than letting your precious time slip away unnoticed, mentally go through your week and work out how you spend your time, writing down everything you do and how long you spend on it. Once you have your week written out in front of you, you can identify how to maximize your hours, what to cut back on and how to make room for more valuable activities.

Make those “lost hours” count

Many of our hours are “lost” to lengthy commutes, uneventful lunch hours and mundane morning rituals. To get the most out of your day, try to make these hours count. For instance, use your journey to work and lunchtimes to read or listen to a good book; get in some exercise; or do something creative, such as drawing or writing. Also, make the most of your mornings as a valuable opportunity for a bit of ‘me time’. Get up early and watch your favourite TV show, make an indulgent breakfast in bed, or swap your shower for a luxurious bubble bath. By spending your mornings doing something you love, you can start loving your life from the moment you wake up.

Become a problem solver

Many of us fall into the habit of spending lots of time discussing and moaning about our problems, but very little time thinking of ways to solve them. Rather than viewing yourself as victim, turn yourself into a problem solver and think about how you can change your luck. Make a list of all the things that may be getting you down or that you would like to change and jot down some possible solutions. Then make a plan to tackle each problem one of one.

Know your limits

While taking on challenges and keeping busy with the right things can be a great way to enhance your life, taking on too much can do just the opposite. Even if you are someone who thrives on pressure and enjoys taking on a lot of responsibility, everyone has their limits and taking on too much will cause stress and anxiety. To enhance your happiness, know your limits and learn how to say no, whether you need to delegate a task in work or turn down an invitation to a social event.

Challenge yourself

Often, we drift through our days without ever really challenging ourselves or doing anything that makes us feel truly alive. If you feel you need to break out of a rut, add some excitement and a sense of adventure to your life by stepping out of your comfort zone and setting yourself some goals and objectives. Whether you want to take on a physical challenge, break a record, achieve a short-term goal or accomplish a life-long dream, decide on something you would like to achieve and formulate a plan to make it happen.

Appreciate the small things

We often spend our time looking forward to the next ‘big thing’ or exciting event in our lives and awaiting our next shot of happiness. However, to truly love your life you need to start appreciating every day and those little things that make you happy. Make a list of the day-to-day things that make you happy – such as having your favourite lunch, listening to your favourite song or having breakfast in bed – and make sure you schedule one of these treats into every day.

Joy of Spirit

What brings you joy? What really brings you joy, as opposed to what you think brings you joy?

We have all been taught that we will be happy when we: find our soul-mate, make money, and work at something we love. Or, we will be happy and fulfilled when we have a house, have a child, do service. Yet I have worked with people who have and do all of the above and are still not happy, and I know of people who have little or none of the above and are frequently joyful.

You might try to find your joy with substances such as alcohol or drugs, but I have never met anyone using these substances whose energy was truly joyful. You might try to find your joy through getting love from others or through sacrificing yourself and caretaking others, but I have never met anyone who was a taker or caretaker who was truly joyful. So, what creates joy?

Joy is not the result of what you do. Rather, you can find your soul-mate, make money, work at something you love, have a house, have a child, or do service with or without joy. Joy is a state of being that enters your heart when you are open to learning and taking loving care of yourself.

Joy, like love and truth, is a gift of Spirit. Joy, love and truth enter your being when your heart is open. Joy is the feeling of exuberance and oneness that envelopes you once you have opened to feeling your pain, learning from it, and moving through it. 

Joy cannot enter your heart when you are protected against your pain. When you protect against your pain, you close your heart to avoid the pain, and joy cannot enter a closed heart. Thus, joy is the result of doing your inner work to learn to keep your heart open.

Sometimes I am amazed by this feeling of joy. I used to think that my joy would come from good things happening outside of myself. I certainly love for good things to happen, but often I find myself feeling great joy even when nothing is happening!

I feel joy when my Inner Child feels loved by me, important to me, cherished by me, seen by me, valued by me. I feel joy when I attend to my wants and needs, saying “no” to others when I mean no, and “yes” to others when I mean yes. I feel joy when my Inner Child feels safe inside, knowing that I am taking care of her, knowing that I am connecting with my spiritual Guidance each moment so that we are not alone.

Joy is your birthright. It’s what makes life worth living. Once you taste it, you will want more and more of it. Yet too many people stay stuck in their safety zone, thinking that protecting against pain and trying to get love is what will make them safe and happy. But do you really feel safe inside? Are your protections really working to create safety within? 

If you are willing to be honest with yourself and see that your protections aren’t working, then maybe you will open your heart and embrace your pain, with a deep desire to learn what you may be doing that is causing it, so that you can feel the joy of Spirit.

 

Forgiveness – Letting Go…

Next to love, forgiveness is the most misunderstood concept. Forgiveness has been twisted by a lack of awareness as to how it functions. To forgive does not mean we must rejoin with our ex-lovers, free criminals from prisons, return to old jobs or anything else absurd. We are taught to believe that if we are to forgive the one who hurt us, it must manifest in some form of behaviour and it reflects weakness.

Forgiveness is a function of love that seeks to understand the negative impact of another person and then to release the pain and find inner peace. When you choose to forgive somebody this does not mean that you acknowledge their cruel behaviour as acceptable, for doing this would be dishonest. Above all, it does not mean that we assume a superior (holier than thou) attitude to pardon the sins of others.

Let’s explore the truth of forgiveness. The meaning of the verb forgive, translates into “to let go”, which is the act of forgiveness. Forgiveness is the releasing (letting go) of negative feelings generated in you by another. It is your responsibility to let go of the hurt that another produces for you. The other person can apologise to you for their negative impact, but you still have to let go of the hurt feelings in order for forgiveness to become a healing experience.

What makes forgiveness so difficult, for so many? The greatest obstacle in the living of our life is the negative ego, which loves to hold onto a grudge and is our greatest source of resistance toward forgiveness. Our negative ego is what blocks our happiness and peace of mind. We hold within us grudges, bitterness and resentment which later manifest into stress, ulcers and poor health conditions. Ultimately, we have a choice to support our EGO or our SOUL, to be RIGHT or find PEACE.

Forgiveness like all other soul qualities (peace, love, innocence, respect, oneness, and passion) does not require a type of behaviour. It begins with a relinquishing of emotional baggage and the choice to function from your Soul versus your negative ego. Forgiveness is a willingness to perceive everyone, including yourself, as either feeling and expressing love or perceiving it’s absence, and having a need for more love. It is a relinquishing of a harmful train of thought that leads to constricting feelings. Forgiveness offers freedom to live a full and harmonious life.

The bi-product of forgiveness is our own willingness and ability to forget. If we cannot seem to forget then we have never completely let go. Holding on to pain only weaken us and produces misery. The purpose of forgetting is to prevent the mind from becoming a battle field. Negative feelings evaporate whenever they are looked at calmly and honestly and are dealt with responsibly. Often this process is gradual. The desire to function from your Soul (love) and to live your life in peace is the greatest motivation for forgiving another.
If you feel that forgiving ads one more grudging obligation to your life, you are functioning from your negative ego.

You have to understand that forgiveness is the doorway to your happiness and is the choice to function with love. When you are attacked by another, you must first deal with the hurt feelings that you honestly feel. Forgiveness is not a short cut to avoid dealing with the negative impact of your emotions. Too many try to forgive without releasing their anger and hurt. That common mistake only represses the anger and it putrefies into resentment down the road.

A great habit to cultivate is to pause whenever you are having difficulty releasing an upset from your mind. Look directly, and in detail at the contents of your thoughts. Dissect your emotions. Step back from them for a moment and gain new perspective. Write them down in a journal to gain deeper clarity. And give yourself time to forgive, it doesn’t have to be instantaneous, but know it is necessary to your happiness and peace.
A person who claims they “love everyone equally” and are never hurt by others are not more spiritually evolved, but more likely emotionally repressed.

To be a spiritual, doesn’t mean you have to like the ego of everyone that crosses your path, for you would then become transparent and lose your individuality. Liking somebody and letting go of someone’s negative impact upon you are two completely different issues.